Good, Evil, and Rum Sauce
by j-chan1
Summary: Prince Phil invites Chaos Dragon Gaav to the palace for ice cream to convert him over to the side of good. However, the two men soon realize this ice cream is a little... off.


**GOOD, EVIL, & RUM SAUCE **

by j-chan 

**DISCLAIMER**: 

If the very thought of Chaos Dragon Gaav and Crown Prince Philionel gettin' jiggy wid' it frightens/sickens/disgusts you, read no further. However, if you want to be disturbed, continue as you please. n_n (Ha, actually, I wrote this in thirty minutes. Forgive me if it's stupid. :D) 

Oh, and I have no ownship over these characters, and I write merely for fun, not profit. Don't sue. ;_; 

**STORY:**

A man was standing in the doorway. He was wearing a dark red trenchcoat, and his frame overshadowed the person sitting in the small, meagerly-outfitted room. His overly-large eyebrows were raised, and his mouth was contorted in an amused expression. 

"So, Prince Philionel. Why did you call me in here?", Chaos Dragon Gaav asked in a deep, gravely voice. He ducked down and stepped into the room, letting the imprisoned rays of light steep through. They filled up the room and lit the Prince's features- his dark gravity-defying hair, his chiseled face. He smiled at the amused Gaav. 

"Ah, Chaos Dragon King! Welcome, welcome. If you'll please sit down?" 

Gaav looked at the heavily-embroidered seats with disdain, wiped off the back of his coat, and sat. Two bowls filled to the brim with ice cream sundaes were on the coffee table in front of him. He shrugged, grabbed the bowl nearest to him, and started to eat. Phil watched him with interest. 

"So, wha' is 'his all abou'?", Gaav asked with a mouthful of ice cream. Phil smiled and motioned for him to set down his bowl. Gaav responded by continuing to slurp down the melted remains let at the bottom. 

Phil shrugged. "Well, actually, it's about you. You seem like a charming young man who's been led astray by evil! I have invited you here so that you and I can redirect yourself to the path of good!" Phil jumped up and started to do a wide array of flashy poses. Gaav merely watched the man with interest. 

"Understand?", Phil asked, looking toward the mazoku. Gaav grinned to himself, nodded, and started to make a face no mother could love. 

Fortunately, Phil was not a mother, and took the face to be one of sincere regret and longing to turn over a new leaf. "Excellent! We shall begin at once!" Having uttered a new line, Phil resumed posing. 

Gaav chuckled. "Shouldn't we begin already?" Phil stopped his bodily contortions and sat down. He scooted the chair across the floor to get closer to the mazoku, then clasped his hands in the other man's. Gaav looked at Phil with a I-can't-believe-this kind of expression on his face. 

"Before we begin, would you like another bowl of ice cream? I even brought some sauce that my dear sweet daughter Ameria reccomended." He poured a huge helping of the sauce on top of the first bowl of ice cream, and handed it to Gaav. He then made himself up and bowl and started to chow down. 

"Hey, this sauce is pretty good. It tastes familiar, though...", Gaav said, somewhat surprised. He started eating with a passion. Likewise, Phil was also spooning ice cream into his mouth at a rapid pace. 

All too soon, however, the bowls were empty. "Hey, didn't we just have ice cream?" Phil's gaze drifted to the other man. 

"Yeah... but it's all gone." 

"Yeah." 

The two puzzled over the missing ice cream for a moment, bearing a striking resemblance to a certain blonde-haired man. They suddenly cracked up. "We're so stupid! HAHAHA!" 

"NO SHIT! HAHAHAHAHA!" 

Gaav and Phil leaned on the table for support, because the room started spinning around in a funky way. Of course, they both thought this was hilarious too. Gaav pounded the table happily, laughing his ass off. Tears of mirth poured from Phil's eyes. 

"Yo, man. That stuff was... da shit... yeah..." Gaav chuckled and looked at the man opposite him. "Woah, dude... you look... sexy." 

"Yeah, man. You too." 

They stared into each other's eyes and suddenly a sappy love BGM started to play in the background. Pastel bubbles started to waft around the room, making the whole place seem like the inside of a cheesy music box. They stood up (albeit somewhat shakily) and advanced. Hands clasped together, and faces only inches apart, Phil asked in a breathy, sexy, drunken voice, "May I... have this dance?" The BGM suddenly changed to that of a jaunty ballroom waltz. 

Gaav looked into the violent pacifist's eyes and replied (in just as sexy a voice), "Yes." 

The two of them waltzed gracefully across the room... well, actually, they waltzed two feet. Then their legs turned to jelly and they fell into a big human mass on the floor, a tangled heap of male appendages. Gaav pulled his foot from under Phil and Phil rescued his arm from Gaav's bushy eyebrows. 

They lay together in bliss and harmony on the hard wooden floor. Suddenly, Phil raised his arm and wrapped it around Gaav's shoulder. He pulled himself closer to the demon. 

"Gaav..." 

"Phil..." 

The two of them turned their faces to give a passionate, steamy kiss to one another... 

... but instead conked heads, knocking them both out cold. 

Later, everyone in the castle heard two loud, masculine screams as the two sober, hungover men saw what a comprimising position they were in. 


End file.
